Ooooh, Ahhhhh, Amazing...
Sure, these are exclamations one commonly utters with wide eyes and a thundering heart during a fourth of July fireworks display, but wouldn't it be cool if some eager reader, winding her way through a book store, ends up choosing your novel off the shelf and later in the comfort of her own home, with her pulse beating like a drum, whispers the same three words as she devours your prose like it was a plate of double stuffed Oreos dipped in fudge?(Long sentence, huh?)
I, myself, would love for that to happen. I'm sure all you unpubs out there would like that little scenario to come true as well.
Thing is, us unpubs have to get...well, pubbed first. And unless we can get over our fears, get past our insecurities and embrace positive change, the stories in our minds may never make it to print.
Like a well crafted story, a writer's life consists of goals, motivations and, of course, conflicts. My life as an author is no different.
I've been writing since I was ten. My first work was called A Day in the Life of a Tennis Shoe. It was an assignment and I not only received an A+ on that 20 page manuscript, but it was entered in the Broward County Youth Fair and won first place in the creative writing category.
I was hooked.
My goal was set. I wanted to be a writer. My motivation, after my teacher encouraged me to enter more contests, was winning. Every time I earned a blue ribbon, an A+ or a hearty congratulations from a beaming teacher, I got a rush.
I kept on this way through high school, even earning a few scholarships for my creative use of the written word.
Then conflict reared its ugly head in the form of college swimming. My dreams of sharing ranks with Johanna Lindsey and Constance O'Banyon were smothered beneath the wet towels in my locker as my over taxed muscles exhausted my ability to form coherent, creative thought.
I suppose I had an excuse back then. I swam 4 1/2 hours a day and lifted weights for another hour. I was exhausted for Pete's sake. I barely wanted to do the endless homework I was assigned, much less pursue my passion for writing.
So what's my excuse now?
I'm through with college. I don't work. My kids are teenagers and can fend for themselves (at least as long as a microwave and a Hot Pocket are handy). I have oodles of free time and should be using it to complete the nine partials I have languishing within the electronic grey matter of my lap top. But I haven't written a single word in two months. TWO MONTHS.
Again, what the hell's my excuse?
There are no outside variables holding me back anymore. No homework. No swim meets. No energy sucking practices. The only thing keeping me from writing is...well, me.
That being said, I'd like to tie in the title of this post now if I may.
The Big Bang Theory.
The term Big Bang generally refers to the idea that the universe has expanded from a primordial hot and dense initial condition at some finite time in the past, and continues to expand to this day. Basically it started out really friggin small. Something jump started that minuscule speck, shocked the sucker into action if you will. The speck exploded, expanded and grew, stretching beyond the horizon into infinity.
Now let's analogize "my on again, off again writing style" with this theory.
I'm the speck.
Or at least my desire to succeed is the speck. Right now it's tiny, insignificant and barely registering on any scale.
It needs a jump start, an explosion, a kick in the ass in order to alter its state of being.
Scientists disagree on the catalyst that initiated the big bang, but here are my two cents. I believe that hot, primordial speck expanded all on its own. 14 billion years ago that tiny particle was sitting there, all by its lonesome and suddenly decided it had had enough. It didn't like being a speck. It wanted to change. And though it was scared of...um, rejection (specks are quite sensitive you see) it took a deep breath, crossed its little speck fingers, clicked its tiny heels together three times and BANG!!!!
So, you see, with the help of the science channel I've learned that the only way to succeed is to become your own catalyst, your own Big Bang. Thank goodness that speck took the proverbial bull by the horns and did just that. Otherwise we might not be here. We all have the power within ourselves to adjust, improve, overcome and shine. We just have to believe in ourselves, take a deep breath and grow.
Basically we can learn alot from the heavens. We only have to look up, say a prayer and be willing to change.
May you all be your own catalyst.
Have a lovely day,